“my blue lagoon”

You’re my blue lagoon;

You refresh me, you intoxicate me.

Don’t garnish yourself with distractions from your taste;

With every sip, you remind me why I’m yours.

By my side you lay,

Under hot, New England daylight.

On a cloudless afternoon,

Sunshines may try to melt you to a puddle.

But you won’t disappear under my care;

I’ll keep you shaded under our umbrella.

becoming yourself is really hard

A year ago, I graduated college, and Tanner and I moved to a completely different city.  In a completely different state.  Where we knew no one.

And, Boston is a magical place filled with opportunity, all four seasons, some of the most picturesque apple orchards you can find.  I mean, there’s even a place here called Wonderland.

But, there’s something different about moving to somewhere permanently… something that I didn’t feel when I interned in Texas or Seattle.

It took a while to sink in, that this wasn’t a temporary thing.  I’m not going back to Penn State after 8 weeks to start my new classes and continue on for my degree.  I didn’t feel the “what clubs am I going to get into this semester” or “do I want to TA” or “what’s my target internship for next summer” in August.  For the first six months, I felt like I was just kind of floating–in a cycle of trying to do my best at work, making friends, getting into grad school, and recovering from all of those things on the weekends.  There was no apparent end in sight–no end of the semester, no spring break, no internship start date, nothing to look forward to.

Perhaps other people were, but I don’t think I was prepared for what ending being a full time student meant.  When I was in school, the prize at the end was financial stability and a career you enjoy, which was really alluring.  And, once I reached the finish line, I felt like I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore.  It’s like, as a kid, your life was school.  And, once you don’t go anymore, it feels like a piece of your identity is lost.

I’d describe myself as almost nomadic to a fault–I love to explore and move to different places.  I take so much pride in saying that I’ve lived all over the country, even if it was only for a few months at a time.  And so, I think that suppressing those things that I really enjoy, moving around and school, made 2019 especially challenging.

I don’t know if other people feel this way.  But, if you do, I want to provide you with some advice if you feel like you’re floating, too.

1. Establish new goals

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m super goal-oriented.  Once I accomplished the goal I’d been dreaming about for the past 4 years–graduating college–I didn’t really have anymore goals lined up.  Brainstorming new things to accomplish gave me a lot of comfort, because it made me realize that I could dream as big as I want to, and I have a whole new era of years to conquer with the best resources I’ve had to date.

2. Find something, anything, that’s familiar

Honestly, this is probably a big part in why I went back to school.  I really missed feeling like a was working towards a concrete, personal milestone–a degree (and aside from that, cell biology is soooooo cool!).  I think this is important to incorporate into your life, whether it’s going to Chik-fil-a, because you always went there in between class, or joining a local soccer team, because you were athletic when you were growing up.  When I pursued something familiar, I felt a little less lost–college was something I’d done before, I liked how completing classes made me feel, and I knew what my outcome would be.

3. Acknowledge that this is a big step, and don’t make yourself feel like you’re childish for being scared

You’re not a baby for being apprehensive about this new stage in your life–you’re being a human, and that’s called cortisol.  Give yourself a break, and for as long as you need to, celebrate everything you’re doing right–paying your bills on time, getting a semi-regulated laundry schedule, making sure there’s at least something in your fridge you can eat.  You don’t wake up and have everything figured out–it’s these little things that pile up into a mountain that you cover in a blanket labeled “I have my life together.”  That’s what I think, anyways.

4. Start a new hobby to root yourself to this moment in time

This is a more recent production, but it’s been really helpful in seeing steps of life in a new manner.  Starting a new hobby to celebrate your current situation could help you, because it establishes a positive connotation in your mind about right now.  Say I move away from Boston in 5 years–I can look back and think, “oh yeah!! That’s when I first started investing” or “ahhh, Boston, where I started learning how to grill shrimp in such a way that they don’t taste like rubbery dog toys” (still working on the whole shrimp thing, in case you were wondering).  Essentially, you’re making positive memories with your situation, so if you keep on investing or cooking shrimp for the rest of your life, you develop fond memories of your old stomping grounds.

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged, but this was on my mind, and I hoped it’d be helpful to someone.

Take care,

Calla

How to get along better with your coworkers

We work in teams for much of our work.  And if I adopted a parakeet for every time I hear “teamwork makes dreamwork,” I’d have an aviary.

But, I think that statement needs revision–they need to change it to “good teamwork makes dreamwork.”  Because, let’s face it, you’re not ultra productive on every team, and it can stem from different reasons.  But, one major hindrance that I’ve noticed personally and with my friends is that they have trouble getting along with their coworkers.

Sometimes, it’s actually no one’s fault if you don’t click with your coworkers; you may just have completely different personalities or styles of communicating, and you just don’t mesh together.  Other times, there may be distinct qualities we don’t naturally gravitate towards.  But in my experience, creating effective teamwork is much less about the work and more about the team.

You see, I think that with the right mix, a highly effective team could tackle some of the most complex and arduous tasks.  We can’t do every task independently, and collaboration is one of the keys to success.  The challenge is creating that bond within people, where they feel like they can rely on each other enough so that obstacles crumble in their midst.

So, insert the main 2 problems you might have with your co-workers: your personalities don’t blend well together, or there’s something specific you dislike about them (or both).  I’ve thought a lot about this problem–what’s hindering us from making really good relationships with our coworkers, and what’s in our power to change that problem.

Situation 1: Personalities Clash

You’re type A, they’re type B.  Sometimes, it just doesn’t mesh, and your basic thought processes don’t align well.  And, that’s okay.  You don’t have to be best friends with who you work with, but you do have to work together.

So, just work together.  Focus your conversations on work; this way, you’re both being productive and finding a common interest in your conversations together.

A big tip I learned from my supervisor at my internship this summer is to identify the coworker’s personality, and play to what they’re like.  For example, if your coworker is super professional and results-oriented, make sure you plan your meeting ahead, have the deliverables in front of you (or at least in mind), bring a pen and paper, and get to the point when you’re talking.  You can’t change them, but you can change how you interact with them by knowing how they operate.

Situation 2: “I don’t like that about you”

Sometimes, we find that a certain trait someone has just bothers us; it’s like you just can’t look beyond this one thing s/he always says or that one habit s/he has.  I used to come across situations like this, but I thought of a trick to help solve not being able to look past what you don’t like about someone.  And it’s not really about changing them–it’s more about changing yourself and your perceptions about them.

Let’s pretend you have this coworker who always needs to have the loudest voice in the room.  It may be annoying, but if you change how you view them from a negative to positive perception, like “they’re not afraid to be heard,” it plants that positivity seed in your mind.

Is it corny?

Absolutely.

But, focusing on something you admire about your coworkers can help you realize why they’re on your team and what they bring to the table. Think about what your coworker brings to the team that the team wouldn’t otherwise have; what specifically does s/he add that everyone needs?  It helps you to recognize the value of your team which can give you more confidence in them.

Sincerely,

Calla

 

Why you’ll keep getting smarter when you graduate school and start working

I love school.  I love to learn new about new things and how there’s always something you can know more about.  That was one of my favorite parts of college–being able to sit in a library, pick up any book, and find out something I never knew before.

I think, societally, we’ve developed this idea that schools are our only learning hubs.  And, sure, I don’t know if any other places have so many diverse subject matter experts and books in such small radii, but I don’t like that we often believe that the only place you can learn is school.

As I graduate this fall, I’m basically trying to figure out my next moves: what I want to go to school for next, where I want to work, and what I want to do (and attempt to enjoy life every once and a while with a vacation).  Like the origins of many existential ideas, I was thinking about this in my car on the drive to work: what’s the real difference between school and work?  Why do you need school before you can work?  Do you need school to continue learning, or does learning come in many forms?

That, friends, spawned an inner dialogue that pervaded the whole trip–and it’s an hour long drive.

School gives us the foundations for what we need.  To understand higher level concepts that you’d learn while working, you need to start with a bunch of relevant topics and work your way up.  Take molecular biology: you need to understand organic chemistry, cell biology, and calculus to get a grip on the subject.

Someone explained to me that building your knowledge base is more like building a pyramid than a ladder: when you solidly learn all the basics you need, you can become more and more specialized as you reach the top.  Your foundation is strong, and you have a broader wealth of knowledge beneath you as you climb the pyramid.  Conversely, ladders aren’t very steady; if you had a ladder instead, it could easily topple over if you lost your balance (or, in this case, went outside your subject matter element).

Related image

But, at some point you’re done with formal training.  Like this picture, you have a bunch of knowledge clusters and you’re ready to put it to use.  That’s where working comes in.

When you’re working, you’re not only revisiting concepts you learned in school (assuming you’re doing something related to what you studied), but you’re connecting everything you learned beforehand.  You’re becoming smarter, because you’re starting to understand why you took a class in X or had to do a lab in Y.  You’re making new connections based on your previous knowledge, and you’re using these connections to solve meaningful problems in your job.

I took this class last year about how people learn; when you’re “passively learning,” you’re reading books or listening to lectures.  You’re not really retaining a whole lot, because you’re not engaging your brain.  It’s like your brain is a river bed, and the information to be learned is the flowing water.  Your brain isn’t getting a lot of time to interact with the information, so it isn’t going to remember it as well.  But, now pretend you’re a river bed in the water is moving more slowly.  Now, you have more time to interact with every water molecule.  This is the rough equivalent to “active learning”: solving problems, having discussions, and applying what you’ve learned.

When you start working, you’re making new connections to the seemingly random knowledge from school.  You gain an understanding for why you learned what you did, and you’re able to appreciate your discipline and its complexity.  And the more you’re exposed to as you continue working, the more connections you’ll form.

Sincerely,

Calla

What to do if you graduated with a major you weren’t happy in (the spider web analogy)

Perhaps you just graduated.  Or you’re about to graduate.  And you’re looking at your degree audit and thinking “oh my lanta, how’d I make it through college studying this?”  Or, more importantly, “what am I going to do with this?”

When you’re 18, it’s a miracle if you can figure out your college’s convoluted bus system or remember the dining hall hours.  At 18, it’s incredibly difficult to know what you’ll want to do forever–without access to a crystal ball from your local fortune teller, how do you know what you’re thinking about studying will get you to where you want to be in 10 years?

We choose majors for different reasons, but whether you’ve known from the beginning what you’ve wanted to study, you based it on salary, you had influence from your family, or you just liked how it sounded, your major in college does have some effect on your life.  It doesn’t define your life, but it can open and close career doors.

As an electrical engineering major, you haven’t learned what you need to be a neuroscientist.  That’s not to say you can’t learn–just that your EE program didn’t prepare you for a neuro line of work.

So here’s the dilemma: when you’ve studied something you can’t see yourself doing for a year out of school, let alone forever, and it’s too late to switch.  You want to be the neuroscientist, but you’re trained as the electrical engineer.

You can only gain so much exposure by reading required course outlines or articles about what people in your major do.  And, often by the time you’re qualified enough to intern somewhere to test the waters, you’re too deep in the coursework to be able to switch out if you don’t like it.

It can be frustrating–it’s like when you take the wrong exit on the highway, because you can see in your mirrors where you should be going, but you just keep getting further away with time.

It’s okay if what you studied in school isn’t a perfect fit for what you want to do now–it just means that you have to find some connections between what you’ve studied to what you want to do.  It’s like you’re a spider, creating a bridge (your connection) between two tree branches (where you are and where you want to be).

There has to be something you’ve learned that applies to what you want.  Now, it’s your job to find it.

The key is to look at what you’ve studied through a different angle–for example, why your background in electrical engineering (what you are) gives you an edge as a neuroscientist (what you want to be) (your connections being analogizing logic signals to neuronal impulses, understanding how MRIs and EEGs work, and being able to think of the nervous system as a big circuit).

If you’ve found that what you thought you’d like at 18 doesn’t suit you at 22, that’s okay–after all, if our older selves could advise our younger selves, we’d never make mistakes.

But, your next objective is to figure out how to get to where you want from where you are with what you have.  Building that spider web-bridge could be as simple as jumping into your next job or more complex, where you’re building each strand at a time–and perhaps your time and resources needed depend on how far apart the branches are.  The bridge could require further education, a temporary job in the middle of what you want with what you have, or advice from someone who’s been in your situation before.

Sincerely,

Calla

What to do when you feel like everything’s falling apart

The world is wonderful and beautiful, but that can be hard to see when a crisis punctures your perception of it.

When we’re in crisis, we often shut down and repress or blow up and stress.  Neither helps us get back to our goal of feeling good again.  From someone who’s felt her life was in shambles more than a tempered glass windshield after a hail storm, many things that feel like the end of the world are actually components of a new normal.

1.  Cut out the what-ifs:  My brain loves what-if statements.  “What if I’d done this instead?” “What if I hadn’t said that?” “What if I hadn’t thought like that before?”  Giving your mind infinite imaginary scenarios is letting it play alone in the playground of anxiety.  When you’re in distress, you want your mind babysat.  You need to keep track of what it’s doing, so you can keep yourself focused and correct any misconceptions later.  And, when you play what-if games, you’re not dealing with reality anymore.

2.  Hold your horses:  Take a minute and breathe.  It’s like trying to eat chips and salsa while you’re riding a bike: each needs its own time to complete, and you can’t do both at once (either you’ll spill your salsa or fall off your bike which leaves you hungry and hurt).  Poor analogies aside, you need to deal with one thing at a time: the crisis and life.  When you’re feeling like things are falling apart, this is something that probably needs attention, because it’s affecting how you feel.  And how you feel affects basically every other part of your life.  Stop what you’re doing for five minutes and think about what’s wrong.

3.  Don’t expect to solve your problem in those five minutes:  The only problems that get solved in five minutes are the ones you find the Quizlet answers to from the semester before.  You need to dedicate more than a Starbucks order waiting time’s worth of time to fix what’s wrong with how you’re feeling.  Give yourself time to process what’s going on, analyze how you can solve it, and enact your solution.  This can be really helpful, because a lot of the times these crises come with a lot of anxiety, and giving yourself just a couple minutes to make your move is an unnecessarily stressful deadline to put on yourself.

4.  Don’t feel like you need a solution right now:  Going along with the part about anxiety, don’t come up with unrealistic deadlines and expectations for yourself.  You’re already having a hard enough time, so giving yourself a little bit of leeway and letting yourself process the situation before acting takes some of the pressure off.

5.  Understand that everyone feels like this at some point:  It’s isolating when you feel like you’re the only one going through an experience, but you being solo is rarely the case.  Even just that thought, that someone else has faced a problem like yours and persisted can bring you solace.  There’re people you can talk to who want to help and listen, and your only obstacle is finding those people.

Sincerely,

Calla

Why you should celebrate rejection

Let’s be genuine: everyone’s going to face rejection at some point, and it’s painful.  You feel like they weren’t able to see everything you could add, or you were dismissed too easily.

I’ve been there many a time, and it’s difficult to realize that what you want doesn’t necessarily want you back, whether it’s a job, a friend, or a school.  We come up with these scenarios in our heads that if we had only got this one thing, then we’d be so much happier/more successful/wealthier/healthier/less stressed/the list is infinite.

Rejection is hard, because we think that what we want is automatically what’s best for us.  But, what if it’s not?  What if we can do better?

Pretend you want this job, and you think it’s the best option for you.  And you try so much to get this job, but you get rejected in the last round of interviews.

In a way, it’s actually a positive thing, because the job probably just wasn’t right for you.  Perhaps there was something that person saw that might’ve inhibited you from excelling.  When we face rejection, in a way, we should celebrate.  That person knows what they expect from you better than you might, so that rejection really saves us a lot of frustration later when we’re in a situation we’re not right for.  Maybe you just weren’t right for the position–and that’s no one’s fault.  All it is is a bad match.

Rejection gets us down now, but it lets us soar later, because it makes us go out and find the opportunity we’re more suited for.

Think about it like this: you can only have one job at a time.  If you end up working on this job you hate, you’re wasting time not doing something you’d be really good at.  You need to open up that space to allow the good opportunities to take it.

I think that the key to getting what you want is accepting the fact that you don’t always know what you want.  You can’t predict every experience, so you have a limited point of view when choosing the “perfect option.”  I’ve had this happen a million times, where the thing I thought I wanted actually wasn’t right for me at all, and what I thought I didn’t want was the better match.

I’m going to be cliché and say that I think everything happens for a reason.  If something didn’t work out, it’s because you’re meant for something better.  You’re meant to be happier/more successful/wealthier/healthier/less stressed/the list is infinite than you’d be with that thing you thought you wanted.  When you begin to recognize rejection as one step closer to getting what you want, that’s when you’re unstoppable.

Sincerely,

Calla

 

6 life lessons I learned from my toughest semester ever

Wow.  It’s been a while.  3 months and 12 days!  103 days!  I could go on with the conversions, but my point is that there hasn’t been a post on here in too long.

The gap in semi-interesting thoughts spawns from a semester that was perhaps the most difficult I’ve ever taken at Penn State.  Classes gave me trouble that I didn’t expect, and there were plenty of sleepless nights and less-than-wonderful days.  I hate taking breaks from blogging, because it’s one of my favorite things; alas, the things you do for an undergrad degree.

However, I learned so much from the past 15 weeks that I thought I could combine some of it into a post to celebrate the return of your favorite (and perhaps only) fake blonde, sunflower-loving, engineer/blogger girl.  So, here it goes: 6 life lessons I learned from my toughest semester ever.

1. You don’t have time for toxic friendships: I’ve talked before about how to spot and handle a toxic friendship, but this advice gives more perspective on that post.  When you have limited extra time to give to people, you want to give as much as possible to those who make you feel good about yourself.  And of course this isn’t to say that just because you don’t talk to all the good people in your life all the time that you’re subconsciously saying they aren’t worth your time.  This point focuses more on giving people who don’t add to your life less attention.  Especially when you’re stressed, you need really good people to fall back on and tell you things are ok.  That’s what’ll get you through.

2.  Rejection is inevitable, but it feels amplified when you’re stressed: When you’re working so hard for something and it doesn’t end up working out like you wanted, it’s easy to become more discouraged.  It can make you feel like you’re ill-equipped to handle what’s being thrown at you.  When you’re stressed, your judgement is clouded and you aren’t thinking like normal.  Moderate rejections and closed doors feel like crises, and it’s hard to shake off.  But, the key to getting through this is using perspective.  Look at your track record–you’ve prevailed over rejection before, and all that one closed door means is that you’re meant for a better opportunity.

3.  Sleep, meals and exercise should be scheduled like a class: You’re not a robot.  You have basic needs that help you function at your best.  It can be easy to cut out one of these components, because you might not see immediate consequences like you might if you miss an assignment or don’t study for an exam.  Consequences in your health take longer to appear than two class periods.  This is something I struggled with, because sleep and exercise are usually the first to go when I have too much work.  But, good health is what’s going to take you beyond those assignments, and poor health has lasting effects.  But, penciling in a bed time or a 30 minute exercise session and sticking to it could fix this–it’s something I’ll try (and probably write a post on) next semester. 🙂

4. Showing you’re a leader isn’t “how many leadership roles can you take on”:  Instead, it’s “how well can you do in the ones you take on.”  This goes back to the value of your time; you could spend your time being mediocre at a bunch of things, or you could be really impactful in fewer things.  This concept isn’t revolutionary–I’ve seen it be used everywhere, but it’s really relevant here, especially when you’re managing an operation.  It’s different from a class, because if you take on too much during a semester, you’ll just get lower grades (read: yourself).  But, in a leadership role, if you don’t have enough time to dedicate, you risk affecting an entire operation (read: other people).

5. If possible, don’t make major life decisions when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation: This ties into our talk about rejection with clouded judgement.  Try to wait until things have died down until you make a life-altering choice.  This way, you’re making sure that your stressors aren’t influencing your decision, because in many cases, the decision’s consequences last longer than the effects of the stressors.

6. Try your best: You might not ace every class.  You might not get an amazing performance review every time.  You might not get the internship you’ve been wanting forever.  But, you’re trying, and that’s where you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes, we set our expectations for ourselves higher than we can actually achieve. Even if you don’t reach your perfect-world goals, you’re still achieving so much.  When you try to improve yourself, whether it’s with school or exercise or anything else, you’ll create a better version of yourself than you had yesterday.

Sincerely,

Calla

8 reasons why millennials are a great generation

They say that baby boomers are the selfish workaholics.  Generation Xers are the unfocused cynics.  And finally, millennials are the lazy snowflakes.

I’ve heard it so many times that I feel like I missed the memo on a script:

“Oh, you millennials… you’re lazy and want everything handed to you without working for it!”

But, what if I told you that the millennials aren’t actually that bad?  What if I told you that we’re one of the most socially and technologically innovative generations of all time–that we have this hyper self-awareness, or that we’re passionate about social reform?

Sure, we’re not perfect, and this isn’t a case to say we are.  As a generation, there’s some truth in what some people say about our patience or self-obsession.  I mean, come on, we sensationalized the selfie.  I’m not pretending there aren’t some bizarre things about us, but I do want to highlight our strengths as a generation. 🙂

1. We’re a highly educated generation: We know the value of a degree in today’s job market.  We get that a college degree is the new high school diploma, and although experience becomes more important in our careers later on, schooling is going to give us those initially job opportunities.

2. We want to enjoy our working environment:  We want to take advantage of the opportunities our employers offer us and benefit from them in more ways than just from a salary.  Sure, your work shouldn’t be your entire life, but it’s a decent part of it, so we want to make it as enjoyable as possible.  This translates into overall happier and more productive employees.

3. We don’t take bullying:  In the past, bullying was a character building experience.  However, as time progresses, the importance of bystander intervention has increased.  We’re one of the first generations to receive formally training in standing up to bullies.  We realize that it can lead to mental health problems in adults, and we want to prevent this type of trauma.

4. We’re catalysts for a mass social mental health reform: We’ll talk about the difficult topics, whether it’s depression, anxiety or suicide.  We know that there’re other people who feel like us, and we want to make people aware of both the issues and that they’re not alone.  We value the mental health days, and we know it’s as important as physical health.

5. We’re interconnected and collaborative:  We get that there’s a world around us.  We can use social media to talk to people in every country.  To us, the community isn’t just our home nation–it’s every nation, because we know we can learn something from everyone.

6. We know that things can fall apart:  9/11 and The Great Recession happened early enough in our lives that we realized that sometimes, we don’t have a safety net.  We know that there are some people who just want to hurt us.  We also understand that not everything is guaranteed, and many of us felt the real effects from the crises.

7. We’re proud of our creativity:  With the dawn of the internet, we’ve found a million ways to creatively express ourselves.  From Youtube videos to Deviantart, we’re not afraid to be break out iMovie or a paint brush and show the world what we feel.

8.  We’re that bridge generation with tech: We didn’t grow up with an iPad in our hands.  We grew up on VHS tapes and passing actual notes in class.  Many of us were teenagers by the time social media really hit, so we understood the pre-hyper-tech world better than generations after us will.  However, we also have a lot of experience with social media, so we can empathize a little bit with both generations.

Sincerely,

Calla

*Lastly, I’d like to thank Jake Picnic for encouraging me to actually write this post.  As they also say, not all heroes wear capes.*

6 life lessons I learned from living in Seattle for a summer

I spent the summer living in Seattle, so you don’t have to.

Just kidding, I loved it!  Seattle is one of the most unique places I’ve ever visited.  The local culture is so vibrant, and there’s an mist of nonchalance that covers the air when the fog burns up.  Seattle is a city that its residents are proud to represent, and this gave me the perfect environment to do a little soul-searching and self improvement.  I’ve never spent a summer focusing solely on personal growth and where I want to go life-wise, and at the risk of sounding too much like a blurb off Instagram, taking three months to learn more about myself and what I really want has been enlightening.

Now that I’ve sprinkled this post with so much mozzarella, let’s get onto the point of your visit here: 6 life lessons from living in Seattle.

1. You can be easygoing and ambitious at the same time:  Simply put, you don’t have to constantly feel like you’re about to have a coronary from anxiety to have goals.  I think it’s a common thing to associate Type A personalities with high ambition, but wanting success isn’t necessarily a trait specific to a personality type.  It’s okay to roll with it; you’ll still get things done! 🙂 Seattle is possibly the most collectively relaxed city I’ve ever visited–much different from the east coast in a sense that that insatiable need to get onto the next task is diminished.  It’s taught me that you don’t always have to be on the go to want to achieve.  Which leads me into my next point…

2. Not everything needs to get done right now:  Not everything on the bucket list has to be done by tomorrow or this weekend.  Take your time, and take breaks when you need it.  It can be daunting to look at all the things you want to accomplish and become intimidated.  For a while, I often felt like I was going to be constantly racing against the clock to get all of my school completed, and it was frustrating.  Once you reframe your mindset to realize how much time a year or five actually is, you realize that you’re doing just fine, and your pace is probably perfect for you.

3. Everyone can use another friend:  I’ve made so many wonderful friends this summer, and I’m so grateful for them.  I used to be one to keep my friend circle pretty small, but learning to branch out has taught me how much you can gain from new friendships.  Genuinely connecting with people can be unusual, so it’s amazing when you find people who you feel like you can be yourself around and enjoy your company.  This isn’t to say that you’re required to become best friends with everyone you meet, because that obviously isn’t realistic.  But, you can never meet too many good people.  Knowing someone cares about your wellbeing is a warm feeling, and you never know how much a friendship means to someone who feels they don’t have enough support or really needs it at the moment.

4. It’s easier to be outgoing when you’re confident:  This is probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned this summer.  I’ve always been pretty quiet, but I’ve slowly begun to grow out of my shyness.  Developing self confidence is something that’s helped me in talking to people–but that sounds intuitive, doesn’t it?  When you feel comfortable with yourself to the degree that you’re not afraid of people’s reactions, you’re more likely to approach them as the truest and calmest version of yourself, because you know you’ll be okay if they don’t like what you’re saying.

5. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t like you: You’re not everyone’s type, and sometimes your experiences are so different that you can’t relate to each other.  It’s nobody’s fault–it’s just the circumstances that make you guys incompatible.  It doesn’t mean you both aren’t amazing people.  You won’t have a connection with everyone that you meet, and that’s ok; it’s what makes those friendships more special.

6. Trust your intuition:  If something feels right, then go with it.  If it doesn’t, don’t.  Your instincts are biologically engrained into you to keep you safe from dangerous situations. If you feel like something is wrong, then it probably is, and you shouldn’t ignore your feelings, even if you risk coming off as impolite.

Sincerely,

Calla